As a therapist specializing in adolescent mental health, I am passionate about providing valuable insights and practical solutions to help parents navigate the challenges of raising teenagers in today's digital age.

One of the biggest challenges parents face is managing their teen's cell phone usage. With the widespread use of smartphones, it's important for parents to establish clear guidelines and boundaries to ensure their teen's safety and well-being. In this blog, I will be discussing a cell phone agreement that parents can use to set expectations for their teen's cell phone use.

This agreement can help parents establish healthy habits and boundaries around screen time, social media use, and online safety.

So, if you're a parent looking for effective ways to manage your teen's cell phone use, stay tuned for some expert tips and advice, let's dive in!

Dear ____________,

Congratulations!  You are mature, responsible, and trustworthy.  As a result, a cell phone will soon be in your hands.

Before we take this step with you, it is important that we reiterate the core values of our family and communicate our concerns about technology.  This is a way to lay out our expectations for you—and for the phone.

The goal is to make sure that you are always safe and using technology carefully and respectfully.

A cell phone is more than a piece of technology to call or text.  If used wrongly, it can be a weapon that puts your safety, privacy, and friendships at risk.  You have always been a GREAT child—and as you enter adolescence and then adulthood, we want to ensure that you continue to make smart choices—even when we are not there to guide you in person.

Please read this agreement thoroughly and ask any questions.

Love, 

Mom and Dad

(print this & use it if you’d like)

Family Cell Phone Agreement—please initial next to each number

PRIVILEGE

1. I understand that this is NOT my phone. It was paid for by my parents and is not my personal property.

2. I understand that having the use of this phone is not a right. It is a privilege that can be taken away at any time.

3. I understand that the rules below are for my safety and that my parents love me more than anything in the world. I understand that my parents want to empower me and give me freedom, while also giving me enough guidance and security to make smart choices.

ETIQUETTE

4. I will make an effort to learn phone and internet etiquette—and understand this is an extension of normal manners that are expected of me. I am not a rude person—and will not allow the phone to change this important part of who I am.

• I will turn off/silence my phone in public—especially in a movie theater, a restaurant, while speaking to people, and during classroom hours.

• I will not bring the cell phone to mealtimes ever, whether at home or at restaurants. This is time to spend socializing with family or friends.

• I may not be allowed use my phone on certain vacations or time with my grandparents. These occasions are to be cherished and we don’t want to have too much time sucked away by the distraction of the phone.

• I will not use social media to share the real-time activities of my life. Enjoy the things you are doing while you are doing them. This is a life lesson—and you can always share these experiences with family and friends later.

• I will not respond to or participate in pointless/mean/gossipy group texts. Texting and email are permanent and not to be taken lightly. Words can hurt people and you don’t want to do that. If you have something major to discuss with someone, do this in person or by talking on the phone.

• I will be present to the people around me—and promise to not interrupt conversations to look at texts or answer calls. This is rude behavior.

• Do not be an over-poster—this annoys everyone. Live your life and occasionally post.

• I will not use technology while I’m using the bathroom. This is not sanitary.  

PRIVACY

5. I understand that my phone—like the internet, email, and all things technology—is not private. Other people (including my parents, grandparents, future employers, college admissions counselors, and even strangers) can and will see what I send, see, and share. I will always be mindful of this when using technology—and especially my phone.

6. My parents will be able to read every text, read emails, listen to calls, and see what internet sites that I have searched. I understand that my parents will be doing spot checks on me occasionally to make sure that I am being safe and that others are being kind to me. I understand that my parents will look at my phone whenever they chose, even without my permission.

7. My parents will know all of my passwords on my phone. If I change a password and do not tell my parents, my phone will be taken away as a punishment.

8. My parents and grandparents will follow me on social media.

9. You must get permission to have new apps and any social media.  

10. I understand that my phone tracks my location and my parents can track where I am.

CONTROL

11.  I understand that my parents have the ability to limit the times of the day when I can receive calls or texts from people outside the family—including during school hours and evenings. These times can and will be adjusted with respect for my needs and schedule but without my input.  

12. Each night, my phone and/or iPad will be docked in the designated spot so it can charge and I can sleep.

EXPECTATIONS FOR BEHAVIOR

13. I understand that my behavior on the phone can impact my reputation—even in ways that I am not able to predict or see.  As a result, I will NEVER write anything negative or bad about another person.   I will always keep in mind how someone would feel if I wrote something negative and what would happen when/if they saw it.

14. I understand that other people’s behavior accessible through my cell phone can also impact their reputation as well.  I will not forward/share/gossip and understand it’s better to avoid getting involved.

15. I will NEVER use my phone or social media to bully or tease anyone—even if my friends think it’s funny.

16. I will NEVER intentionally try to leave people out and hurt them in this fashion—whether on texting chains or through social media. Posting live pictures on social media at gatherings where not everyone is included is mean.  It is not allowed.  

17. I will NEVER post/text pictures of myself or my friends that are sexy, in bathing suits, or without clothes.

18. I will not search inappropriate material on the internet—bad language, nudity, or violence.

19. I will tell my parents if I am being bullied or harassed by someone via text, phone, or social media. We can help you work through this.

20. I will not lie about where I’ve been or how I am using the phone.

21. I promise to tell my parents when I receive suspicious or alarming phone calls or text messages from people I don’t know. 

X__________________________________________________________________________

X__________________________________________________________________________

X__________________________________________________________________________

As a therapist and a parent myself, I understand the challenges that come with raising teenagers in today's digital age. However, by setting clear expectations and boundaries around cell phone usage, parents can help their teens develop healthy habits and stay safe online.

Remember, communication is key, so be sure to discuss the cell phone agreement with your teen and make adjustments as necessary. If you found this blog helpful, be sure to sign up for my weekly parenting tips and resources. And don't forget to share this post with other parents who may benefit from this information.

Thank you for reading, and I wish you all the best in your parenting journey!