Leah Niehaus, LCSW & Associates

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At Least the Dogs Love Us

🌟Weekly Inspiration🌟

There is a sweet spot in early childhood where children want and love to be with their parents. The kids often do what you say, enjoy activities with you, and have less attitude in general. If you are in this stage, cherish every precious moment! As kids mature into pre-teens and teenagers, often there is a normal developmental shift: more focus on independence and individuation, more time and focus on friendships over family, and more attitude/moodiness/uncooperativeness. It goes with the territory of raising adolescents.

Even though it is expected and healthy, it is not always pleasant for parents. Parenting teens can be exhausting and thankless at times. I am suspicious of parents that have no conflict with their budding adolescents and young adults (often never saying “no” or trying to be friends with their kid over being their parent). In our house, we have three teenagers now—17, 15, and 13. Last night, my husband and I went to sleep saying to each other: “well…at least the dogs love us.” Thankfully, yes they do ❤️. It is a challenging transition to navigate, when our children NEED us but don’t WANT us…especially when we have loved and cherished our time parenting them. A bittersweet realization of parenthood 💡. The good news is that they usually do “come back” to us and there will be new joys of parenting older kiddos.

Ask yourself:
 

How do I cope with the thankless part of parenting?
How do I respond to my child that is individuating and doesn’t want me around as much?
Do I have a partner that helps steady me in the challenging moments?
What did my own pre-teen and teenager years look like?
How can I acknowledge the challenge of transition and know that it won’t last forever?

Be Well


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