🌟Weekly Inspiration🌟

The way we start and end the day with our families is really important. Morning interactions set the tone for the rest of the day…and a positive bedtime connection is essential for restful sleep and relaxation.

I’ve had SO many kids and teenagers in therapy talking about the yelling/conflict/criticisms on their way out the door in the morning. Parents often use these moments in the car or over breakfast to scold about grades or criticize how their child looks that day. Many of these kids then go to school and are tearful, stressed, or have trouble concentrating. This does not set them up for a good day of learning and being social with their friends—and it’s largely within our control.

Evenings are also a high-conflict time for families. Everyone is tired…yet the need to inform, command, urge, reinforce ideas, or plan for the next day feels really important to us as parents. We feel like, “and one last thing before you go to bed…..”  Kids also tend to pick fights with us and their siblings when they are tired and cranky.  

It’s hard not to engage at times...but it's not impossible. We are adults and it is more within our control to try and de-escalate the evening conflict and remember that a loving tuck-in truly goes a long way (yes, even for angsty teenagers who act like they don’t want or need a tuck in). If there is a conflict in the evening, work hard to make up before going to sleep. Even if the conflict is not resolved, there is a way to “agree to disagree” and pick up the discussion the next day when rested.

Think about how morning and evenings went in your home growing up. Sometimes there are old default patterns that we need to let go of. You may recall positive rituals for starting the day/ending the day that you’d like to try and incorporate for your kids. It’s never too late to try interacting in a way that serves the whole family better.

You can even announce it to your kids—“I’m trying something new this week…really want to start and end our day with no conflict. Let’s all give it a try.” Many parents minimize how much their interactions affect their kids.
 

It matters.
 

Good luck this week!