🌟Weekly Inspiration🌟

For years, I’ve wanted to talk to youth about consent in a more formal way—the universe keeps foiling my attempts, so I’m using this platform to empower parents to have these important conversations at home. This is a touchy topic, many parents shy away from it. As a woman, as a mother who has raised a 19-year-old daughter, as a mother to two teenage sons, and as a therapist working with adolescent girls for 20 years….I have a lot of strong opinions on this matter ❤️.
 

Consider these stats:

In the US:  81% of women & 43% of men report sexual harassment or assault in their lifetime

*1 in 5 women are sexually assaulted in college
*1 in 16 men are sexually assaulted in college

90% of all victims do not report…
 when rape is reported there is a 50% chance of arrest…
 of those arrested, 80% are prosecuted…
 of prosecuted, 58% chance of conviction
 
* 5% of people remain virgins until marriage
*The average age for first sexual intercourse is 17

*Research shows that teens want committed relationships with sex
 
*Healthy Friendships Determine Healthy Dating
Healthy Friendship + Romance = Healthy Dating
 
*Adult Romantic Happiness linked to:
            @ 13 years old were treated well by friends
            @15 years old had close friendships
            @ 17-18 years old, maintained close friendships for over 2 year period 

If you are interested in hearing more direct discussion around consent, pleasure, porn, and healthy dating…click on the attachment below. I wrote these talking points for my 16-year-old son’s friend group. He was horrified about the idea of me speaking to his friends, so I wrote this up instead. Feel free to adjust and use it with your children. I am not trying to shock anyone with this—but I am being direct and honest so it’s not for the faint of heart.

Disclaimer: This was written for heterosexual boys so it doesn’t apply to everyone. Consent issues arise in same-sex relationships as well FYI. I would write different talking points (and might) for adolescent girls about consent.

Ask Yourself:

Is it hard for me to have conversations about sexuality with my kids? Why or why not?
Can I share my values with them regarding intimacy and my hopes for them?
If they don’t hear from me, where will they get their information?
If I’ve had negative experiences in this area, how can I educate them and take care of myself? 
How do I feel about pleasure? 
What do I believe about consent?

Good luck. Be well.