Leah Niehaus, LCSW & Associates

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Next Right Decision

šŸŒŸWeekly InspirationšŸŒŸ

In the wake of the horrifying news of the last two weeks, it is hard as a parent to know how to react, what to say, and how to feel. Many parents feel numb to it all, desensitized to the violenceā€”and then recognize that to become numb to this kind of atrocity is in itself alarming. Many parents feel so overwhelmed by the state of the world, that they are left feeling immobilized and deeply troubled. Judging our own reactions is not that helpful, but noticing how this news affects us as parents is useful and can help us move forward to deeper action or empathy. We are parentsā€”raising children in a challenging world where there are many reasons for concernā€¦and also many reasons for hope. This is the dance that we do if we are consciously parentingā€”and similar to generations before us and for those generations to come.  

In the midst of the collective world sufferingā€”school shootings, racial violence, political toxicity, Roe v. Wade, environmental concerns, etcā€”it's easy to get lost in overwhelm. At the end of the day, the most important task in front of you is raising good human beings. It is a monumental task if you are doing it correctly ā¤ļø. So for now, think about the Next Right Decision for yourself and your family.

Ask yourself:
 

What are my reactions to the recent horrors? Do I want to cry? Do I feel angry? Numb? Overwhelmed?
Is there a way that I feel moved to take action? (Pray, Write Senators, Donate to a good cause, Speak out)
How would it feel to talk to my partner or a friend?
Are my children old enough that I should discuss this with them?
What would help settle my nervous system? Sleepā€¦meditationā€¦churchā€¦nature...musicā€¦limiting media?
How can I remind myself and my body that I am safe and my children are safe?
How can I slow down, be in the moment, and connect with my precious few?
Would making dinner and being together be the Next Right Decision for today?

A final thought: a greater mental health safety net would be wonderful to help the severely mentally ill. We should continue to strive toward this. However, it is a complex issue and we live in a country with tremendous individual freedomsā€”it is next to impossible to institutionalize or conserve someone for mental illness to keep others safe. It is challenging to even hospitalize someone if they are a danger to themselves or othersā€”and many people who are violent towards others act before threatening or warning anyone in a way that allows clinicians to protect. In general, the people that commit heinous acts have lifetimes filled with trauma, sexual abuse, physical abuse, and neglectā€”this is not easy to undo and long-term work is imperative. My point is that mental health support is not enough and that limiting access to these weapons is absolutely necessary. Starting at home, at your dinner tableā€”raising kind and loving human beings that havenā€™t suffered traumatic abuseā€”is the most important work that we can do to positively impact the world.

Be wellā­


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