🌟Weekly Inspiration🌟

It can be said that self-esteem comes from the reflection of ourselves from the people around us. We experience the positive feelings of high self-esteem when we believe that we are good and worthy and that others view us positively. Children and adolescents largely derive this “reflected view” from their parents, extended family, peer group, and important teachers / coaches / pastors, etc. It is fairly simple to recognize when a child is confident and has high self-esteem…and it’s also clear when a child doesn’t feel good about themselves. The hopeful news is that it is NEVER too late to begin feeling better about oneself—to change the narrative of one’s life—or to help shift a child’s view of themselves in a more positive direction.

Sometimes as a therapist, I am called to reflect back to a young person a different version of themselves than they are used to seeing. Some kids are beaten down emotionally—called names, criticized frequently, shamed, and feel unloved or unworthy. Sometimes it’s overt and sometimes it's subtle—and the repair work of me seeing them for their strengths and their inherent worth can be uncomfortable yet healing. Often the parents that are hurtful or abusive have their own wounds from childhood that have never been healed—HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE. Does that make sense? As parents, we have a profound influence on our child’s self-concept and self-esteem…do not minimize your impact!

Ask yourself:
 

How was my self-esteem as a child? As an adult?  
What adults reflected back to me a good version of myself? How did that make me feel?
In what ways have I been hurt?
In what ways do I hurt those that I love?
How can I reflect back on the inner beauty and strengths that I do see in my children so that they can feel my love and approval?
What would it feel like to release expectations of them pleasing and living to gain my approval? 

Be well❤️