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The Power of Witnessing
šWeekly Inspirationš
It was a heavy week, sitting with lots of pain here at work ā¤ļø. In those moments of overwhelmāas a therapist and as a motherāI have a tendency to lean in, try to comfort, or try to ease. I had to remind myself to sit back in my chair and JUST witness struggle, pain, and grief. I had to remember that sometimes there are no words and there is nothing to be done, but sit back and listen. I had to hear what my clients were saying and just feel my own sadness. In my waiting room, we have a plaque that says āYou donāt need a cure, you need a witness.ā I find this to be true on a daily basis, at the office, and at home. Instead of swooping in to solve, I am settling myself to listen and help my child or my client find their own answers to the dilemma at hand.
The plaque was inspired by a quote in the book GROUP: HOW ONE THERAPIST AND A CIRCLE OF STRANGERS SAVED MY LIFE by Christie Tate (This is a page-turner and speaks to the incredible power of group therapyāof which I am a huge fan!). I sat with seven teenagers this week in my High School Girlsā Group, as they witnessed true grief and overwhelm from a couple of group membersā¦it was beautiful how they listened and showed up for each other. It was healing to be heard without much suggestion or commentary. It was therapeutic to have others tear up while they cried. That was what the moment called for and it reinforced everything I know in my bones about healing ā.
Ask Yourself:
When Iāve been in a struggle, who has been my witness?
If Iāve never felt that, is it about time that I do? How could I find that in my life?
As a parent, do I struggle to just listen?
Why is this hard for me? What is my underlying fear? Can I learn to sit back in my chair and settle?
How do I sit with grief and sadness?
Any shifts that I can make?