Greetings fellow travelers,

Hope that you were able to have a nice Thanksgiving—such a good time to count our blessings, even amid such a challenging time. It has been four months since my last Newsletter! Somehow, I’ve managed to fill the time 😉 — between managing online learning for our three children, working as a clinician during a mental health pandemic, and cooking more meals than I knew humanly possible! All kidding aside, it’s been a long few months and simultaneously, the weeks are flying by. Still feels totally surreal to me that we are 8 1/2 months into this pandemic (heavy sigh).

• Wisdom? Not yet

• Good days and hard days? Yes

• Clarity on what is important to me and my loved ones? More and more each day

• Sense of Humor? Trying!

• Weary? Yes, most days

• Relieved the toxic political season is almost over? Yes!

• Hopeful? Always

• Meaningful work? ❤️

One observation about us human beings—we sure like to feel like we are in control over our lives, health, destiny. I notice that before COVID we all were under the illusion that we had more control over our daily lives and health than we likely actually did. Bad things still used to happen—loved ones would get cancer, people would get in car accidents, others would lose jobs…In this moment, so many of us are trying so desperately hard to hang on to control because we feel out of control—this can look like hoarding, judging, increased anxiety, irritability, development of eating problems…how does this show up in your life? It’s interesting to get curious about this for yourself and your loved ones. Much of our suffering is tied to trying to control things that are largely out of our control or having unreasonable expectations that set us up for disappointment/upset.

I’ve been so proud of my associates over the past few months—balancing personal lives, work, self-care, their own challenges and responses to the pandemic, and navigating tele-health and in-person outdoors appointments for those clients that need and request it. It’s not an easy feat and not what they signed up for! In this newsletter, I am featuring a short blurb from each of them so that you can get to know them better. They are always a good referral source—eager to learn and gain hours, more affordable, and supervised by yours truly.

SURRENDERING MANTRA

I am at peace.
I am at peace with not being at peace.
I am at peace with not being at peace. I am content.

Takeaways from recent talks on SEW during COVID

I recently gave a talk to the parents of Hermosa Beach City School District and Pacific Elementary in Manhattan Beach. It became clear as I looked at mental health data to prepare—that we (as a nation? as a state? as a county?) have prioritized the physical health of older adults over the emotional health of youth. I’m not judging this, as we all have older adults and compromised people that we love and want to keep safe…yet let’s not mistake the toll that it is taking on children, adolescents, and families. The stats are grim in terms of rising depression/anxiety/suicidality/substance abuse. I can get stuck in negativity and overwhelm if I stay here long, so I try to shift my energy towards focusing on what I can control for my family and the families that I serve. Below are the takeaways from my talk.

SOME LEVITY

Don Landgren USA TODAY Network

NEW RESOURCE: WALK & TALK THERAPY WITH THERESA GOLDSTEIN, APCC

Have you heard of walk and talk therapy?

Walk and talk therapy is an alternative form of therapy for clients who might want to try something a little different. This type of therapy is helpful if you are struggling with depression, anxiety, stress, or difficulty with attention/intensity of a typical therapy session. Possibly you prefer meeting outside at the beach or in a park due to COVID issues. Walking can be beneficial during this time of year when we are all feeling a bit stuck inside, lacking energy and motivation, and want to help jump-start your mood and spirit. It is possible to walk distantly with our earbuds in and have a meaningful conversation if that feels most comfortable to you…or closer together with our masks on, in the fresh air.
Some of the benefits are:

1. endorphin release to make you feel better

2. staying present and being in the moment while in nature

3. raises serotonin and other neurotransmitter levels to boost your mood

4. connects your mind and body

If you are interested, Theresa is offering walk and talk to adults and teens locally in Hermosa Beach. Please call 818-806-8767 or email Therapytg@gmail.com for more information.

PARENTING INSPIRATION FROM STACY KNUPFER, AMFT

COVID’S OTHER SYMPTOM: 
PARENTAL BURNOUT  

Parents, these are unprecedented times, so I’m going to keep it real. You cannot be perfect parents during a pandemic. In fact, you might need to be a little selfish. Parental burnout is real, and even more real during COVID. Symptoms include fatigue, depression, anxiety, forgetfulness, exhaustion, social isolation, resentment, irritability, headaches, issues with digestion, muscle tension, and sleeplessness. How do you prevent burnout? By prioritizing your own mental health and well-being needs before others. Think of it this way, when you fly on an airplane, the flight attendant always instructs you to put your own oxygen mask on first. Why? Because if you run out of oxygen, you can’t help anyone else. In order to cultivate the social and emotional needs of your child, you must first take care of your own mental and emotional needs. 
 
Parents, please give yourself permission to do something just for YOU each day. Let me say that again for the people in the back—do something for yourself—Every. Single. Day. Take a walk, take a bath, listen to a podcast, read a book, go to bed a little earlier, wake up 30 minutes early to meditate, pray, or reflect, take an online yoga class, stretch while watching TV, put your phone on do- not -disturb, download a mindfulness app, do an art project, paint your nails, start a gratitude journal, FaceTime with friends, take a break from social media, pick a mantra that brings you comfort, but whatever you do, allow yourself some grace, partake in some daily self-care, and know that you don’t have to be a perfect parent. No one is.
 
Stacy Knupfer is an Associate Marriage Family Therapist, who has been working in our office for over a year now. As a mom of two, she loves working with moms, teens, and couples. She is seeing clients both virtually, and outside at our office. sitwithstace.com

STRATEGIES FOR COPING WITH THE PANDEMIC BY MEAGHAN SLIVA, APCC

Families are dealing with so much right now-- implementing healthy coping strategies is essential. Below are some tips and tools to use at home to help your child or teen cope with the pandemic.

For Children:

1. Read books! Books are a great way to open a conversation about feelings with children. They help identify how specific feelings feel in our bodies, what they look like, and various ways to cope.

2. Create a “calm corner” or “calm toolbox” at home. A calm corner is a designated space where children can practice self-regulation by utilizing various tools to manage strong feelings like anger and frustration. Take a look at this website for ideas on how to create your own calm corner: Calm Corner At Home or toolbox: Building a Coping Toolbox.

For Children & Teens:

1. Routine. Creating and sticking to a daily routine provides structure and consistency which can help with stress and anxiety. This includes bedtime routines, mealtimes, exercise, etc.

2. Stay socially connected. Encourage your child(ren) to maintain friendships and relationships by staying connected. This may be especially difficult right now given the recent Stay-At-Home order; however, it can be done via telephone, safely in-person with distancing outdoors, social media, and/or video platforms. Having a virtual lunch break, study break, or play date can improve our mental health and well-being. Try researching virtual clubs, etc. to see what's currently available - see the flyer below for information on the middle school girl's group I run: Caring Conversations & Connections.

3. Set a daily intention. Focus on the things you can control by starting each day with a meaningful goal or intention to accomplish.

4. Exercise/Hobbies. Getting outside and going on a hike, bike ride, run, or even a walk around the neighborhood can greatly benefit our physical and mental health as well as our mood. Finding a hobby such as baking, art, gardening, or journaling can also be a healthy coping strategy.

5. Lastly, be present with your child(ren). We can’t solve our child(ten)’s problems or “fix” their feelings. Sometimes, what they may need most is a comforting adult to just sit with them and listen.

FAVORITE NEW SONG

“You’ll Never Walk Alone” by Marcus Mumford from an awesome new show, Ted Lasso. If you haven’t seen this show, treat yourself and check it out!!

PRACTICE UPDATE

We carry on in Suite 219! We love our new space—enjoying Telehealth from the comfort of our new offices, rotating outdoors on our balcony for clients that request in-person appointments, and reveling in the comforts of our own sink, coffee maker, mini-fridge, and microwave. These small comforts make a big difference as we recharge in between sessions!

Stacy is busy with women, mothers, couples, and adolescents primarily. Meaghan is steady with a flow of teen girls and is launching her Middle School Girls’ Group again (this is starting virtually and will move to in-person soon hopefully). She has some openings if anyone needs a referral for a middle school girl—to build her social skills and connection during this challenging time. Theresa is settling into the practice, working primarily with children and adolescents doing play therapy/art therapy. Leah keeps challenged with her clients, High School Girls’ Group, clinical supervision, and local parenting talks. We feel SO grateful to have meaningful work each day! Truly ❤️.

Wishing you and yours a wonderful holiday season-health, hope, peace, and love. Sending strength to those who’ve lost loved ones or are separated from those they love this season. Bring on 2021! I’ll leave you with a picture of our balcony therapy space at sunset—it’s truly beautiful with our twinkle lights, the ocean view and breezes, and a warm comfy blanket…it is as sacred space as one can imagine for the healing time in therapy. One of my favorite silver linings…

Best,

Leah