Attention as an Undervalued Form of Love

🌟Weekly Inspiration🌟

We all tend to feel better after someone has truly paid attention to us. It is human to need attention. It makes people feel important and loved. Kids and adolescents need lots of it—and will seek negative attention if they can’t come by enough positive attention.

Attention can be:

• Listening

• Eye contact

• Curiosity

• Interest

• Asking questions

• Undivided attention

• Making time

• Excited about their interests

• Playing

• Spending time chatting

• Doing an activity together

• Laughing

• Giving a compliment

• Affection

• Acknowledgment

• Appreciation

Many kids need more attention than they are getting at home. Many kids love coming to a therapy space largely because they get undivided attention from an adult. They shouldn’t have to come to therapy to feel that care, appreciation, and unconditional positive regard ❤️. For the parents of young kids, we often encourage 30 minutes of child-led play per day…that doesn’t sound like much, but most parents struggle to truly do that each day! For teens, quality attention may be talking in the car, inviting their friends over for dinner, taking an interest in whatever they are excited about, watching a show together, walking the dog together…it is your job to bend to them…and keep trying to bend to them even when they resist you. Just little efforts to show them that you are trying to connect to them. A steady, interested presence goes a long way.

Ask Yourself:

How much attention did I receive as a kid? How did it impact me?

What kind of attention do I like receiving?

How much attention do I give my loved ones each day?

What gets in my way of having more time available to the people at home?

What are my strengths in this way—which are my “go-to” ways to help my loved ones feel my love and attention?

Any small shifts that I’d like to make?

Be well.🌟