Minimizing
🌟Weekly Inspiration🌟
I’ve been thinking about how often parents minimize their children’s experiences and emotions. We are all guilty of it at times. Parents minimize the big stuff (suicidal thinking) and the little stuff (a slight from a friend). It is human to need our experiences heard and validated, it is important for a child to feel “seen” for the range of their experiences and emotions…and not have us negating or minimizing what they say that they are experiencing. It doesn’t mean we always agree with their sentiments, but we allow them the air time to share how they feel❤️. A child that feels heard, continues to use their voice over the course of their lives.
A few guesses as to why we minimize:
We minimize our own hurts so therefore we minimize for all
Don’t have the time or energy to deal with a child’s sensitivity or feelings
Fear acknowledging their hurt will make them less tough or resilient
To be empathetic to their plight is uncomfortable
Their hurt makes you hurt and you can’t fix it
You don’t think they should feel the way that they do
No one acknowledged your experiences or emotions-so why should you
Ask Yourself:
Do I minimize my child’s experiences or emotions?
Why might I slip into this pattern sometimes?
Can I hear them out and acknowledge without total agreement or support for their stance?
What would it feel like to say, “That sounds really hard.”, then sit there with them and not try to solve or make the pain go away?
What is my underlying fear of their pain or vulnerability?
If I was minimized, how did it affect me?
Could I have a softer approach at home?
If this comes easily, how does it benefit your children? Yourself?