Assess Your Own Sports Parent Behavior
🌟Weekly Inspiration🌟
July Parenting Series on Youth Sports #2
First, I want to establish that I think youth sports can be AWESOME for young people—both as a mother and a therapist. It is wonderful for young people to be physically active, out in the sunshine, get the experience of coaching/mentoring, learn the benefits of grit and hard work, be part of the fun and camaraderie of a team, and soak up the life lessons that abound. In short, I see the value and have spent much time and resources supporting youth sports in my own family life.
However, I have often scratched my head when observing the parental response to youth athletics, the toll youth sports can take on young bodies and minds, and the obsessive nature of youth sports in our culture. Many times I have sat with girlfriends grappling with these issues in various forms and how it affects their child—reclassifying kids (i.e. second holdbacks), kids getting injured because much older kids are allowed to play in younger divisions, recruiting to stack teams, texting coaches for more playing time, becoming youth sports leaders/commissioners to control teams, overuse injuries, and parents that yell and scream at coaches, officials, and even players on the sidelines.
Many times, I have sat with therapists sharing how it’s gone too far for a particular child in our practice. In last week’s LTWL, we contemplated the “overemphasis on sports identity” for youth—and I would argue there is an overemphasis for parents’ identities as well. Next week, we will speculate on why this might be. We are the gatekeepers in the lives of our children—and it is our duty to protect our children’s minds, bodies, and childhoods.
Ask Yourself:
What do I love about organized sports for my child? What benefits are derived for my child?
What parts do I love about my kids playing sports for myself? The community of parents? Watching them perform? Bragging rights?
Does my child’s sports performance make me feel better about myself? Why?
Did my parents identify with my sports performance? How did that make me feel? Anything that worked for me that I want to incorporate with my own children?
If I have a child that has not enjoyed youth sports, how does that make me feel? How does it affect them? Do they have an extracurricular that is as intense as youth sports?
How much orchestrating do I do to help my child excel in youth sports? What are the pros and cons of this?
What am I noticing about myself? Any small shifts that I would like to make?