Give Yourself a Hug
🌟Weekly Inspiration🌟
So often we are hard on ourselves, hard on our spouses, and hard on our children. Sometimes, I feel like I need to lighten up and so do all of my clients. Many times, I sit with adolescents that are self-harming, using substances, or having disturbed eating—all as a form of coping, self-punishment, or strategy to deal with shame/not feeling good enough. Even if our symptoms aren’t that severe, many of us have a constant inner critic that makes us feel crappy about ourselves. It’s just not helpful!
There was a beautiful moment in my high school girls’ group last week where one girl shared about how she used to scrub her legs so hard in the shower, she would rub them raw (she described it as a form of self-harm). She did this for some time secretly, as well as other poor coping strategies—though she was actively working to feel better in her life by attending my group and individual therapy. Then one day, she had a different thought in the shower—"why don’t I stop being so hard on myself and give myself a hug?” She did and she shared with the girls that it felt amazing ❤️. It has been a helpful lesson for her…that in moments of overwhelm or shame, it feels better to give herself a hug and love herself through it. WOW 💡. It reminded me of a magazine ad that I saw years ago about the best weight loss plan—it was a picture of a woman hugging herself. Yes ❤️.
Ask yourself:
In what ways am I hard on myself? What form does it take in my life?
What do I model in this regard for my children?
How do I see my children coping through hard moments? How can I help them to lighten up and be more loving to themselves?
Is anything really worth self-harming or starving oneself?
What would it feel to love yourself? For your children to love themself?