Hold Lightly to Labels
🌟Weekly Inspiration🌟
I’ve been thinking about how as a society and in my field, there is a tendency to put people in “boxes.” We often have to diagnose a child (or adult) with a mental health condition or learning issue to qualify for services, get reimbursed by health insurance, or feel like we fully understand the struggle. Sometimes it is necessary and helpful to label—and it truly can aid understanding, empathy, costs, and identification for correct services and accommodations that foster long-term success.
I’ve been thinking that even when all of the above is true about the need to label, it might be helpful to hold lightly to that label. It might also be helpful to communicate that message to your child as well. I’ve been reminded lately that children, adolescents, and young adults are moving targets—that is, they are constantly changing, evolving, and maturing, and their development often occurs in fits and starts. Sometimes kids outgrow particular issues, or they present in some manner at a particular point in time but that later changes or subsides, and they might not be destined for a life with that label. In particular, I’ve been considering a client I’ve been privileged to work with for fifteen years on and off (he was 15 when we started together and now he’s 30). As a child, he was labeled to have ADHD, inattentive type, and a math disability. He was discouraged to pursue math and science. He went on to get a History degree, struggled to find satisfying employment, and always longed to work in the tech industry. In the last year, he began taking math/science courses at his local community college, was offered a math tutor position at the college, has an IT internship, joined the school “hacking” club, and has just been accepted into a Postbaccalaureate program in Computer Sciences. His depression and anxiety have largely lifted, as he aligns with himself and gains confidence…and he no longer struggles with inattention. The labels no longer apply—and the labels hindered him in his pursuits for some time. It’s been inspiring to witness—and there are stories like this that unfold in my office all the time.
Ask Yourself:
Was I labeled as a child? If so, how did it impact my life and ideas about myself?
How did my parents and teachers respond to how I was labeled?
Anything that I’m longing to try that was not encouraged in my youth?
How do labels serve to help my children or hinder them?
Is it possible for me to hold lightly to the labels? How might that shift my feelings of hope and possibility for my precious child?
**Please note: this still applies to you even if you are fortunate to have children that aren’t officially diagnosed or labeled with anything. Children are labeled all the time, by parents/grandparents/teachers/coaches: the reader, the athletic one, the pretty one, the sensitive child, the extrovert/introvert, the problem child….you get the point 😉.