Make Way For Mentors
🌟Weekly Inspiration🌟
Many times I sit with parents who are well-intentioned, but want to be “everything” to their child—parent, best friend, coach, teacher...sometimes parents themselves have had some attachment wounds in their own growing up, so they want to be the “perfect” parent, available to their child in every way, so their children don’t experience the same pain that they did. On the other hand, some parents simply are very involved and want their children to depend on them for all. Some parents have “professionalized” their role and consider it their job to be available 24/7 for their kids. For parents, some of this might be conscious or unconscious…for some families, this works and for some, it does not.
Many times I sit with kids whose parents are reluctant to have them in therapy, but sometimes I also notice parents that are reticent to allow their children to depend on any adults except themselves. Maybe you've been hurt or disappointed, but that doesn't need to be projected onto your kid. Do not deprive your child of the opportunity to be mentored by someone terrific ❤️. It takes many capable adults to raise a well-rounded child! There is NO WAY to be everything for your child. It is SO healthy and helpful for kids to trust other adults and seek them out for consultation when they need help—and they can’t go to you for whatever reason (and believe me, ALL kids keep some things from their parents but could use a little extra support at times).
Consider these adults as potential lifelines for your child:
Teachers
Coaches
Clergy/Youth Pastors
Therapists
Bosses
Co-workers
College Counselors
Drama/Art/Music Instructors
Neighbors
Grandparents
Aunts/Uncles
Your Friends
Parents of Their Friends
Ask yourself:
Who were significant mentors in my life growing up?
What did I learn from them that was different than what my parents taught me?
Did my parents mind that I had other adult role models?
Do I ever feel threatened by my children’s relationships with other adults? Why?
Do I need to feel needed at the expense of my child branching out?
Can I shift towards being more open to my kid connecting with other role models?
Whom can I be a light in the storm for besides my own child?