Why the Rush?
🌟Weekly Inspiration🌟
I’ve been thinking about the adultification of childhood. There has been growing pressure to make our kids “little adults” and I just wonder about the long-term effects of this on our kids. Kids often end up in therapy (if their families can even find a 50-minute window in their busy schedule) because they are burned out, depressed, anxious, or feel like life is a grind.
Consider these ideas:
* Some kids take many AP Classes in high school. These are supposed to be college-level classes. Too many AP classes create lots of stress for kids. Kids should take AP classes when the subject matter interests them and it is a subject that comes more naturally to them. Would they really want to graduate early from college because they have so many credits? Is it worth increasing their stress level to max out? Does it make sense for a kid to take 3, 4, 5, or 6 APs at a time when they are in high school? College kids typically take 12-16 units of college-level courses per semester (which is 3-4 classes); they are adults and they typically have more free time than high school students…SO what are we doing to our high schoolers?
* Some kids take Zero Period. It’s been proven that young people need their sleep. There is a lot of pressure to “get it all in” and sometimes kids feel they must take a zero period. It also just feels like a grind—and that they need to get up early and go to their “job” like an adult when they aren’t prepared for this developmentally.
* The cultural pressure to advance our kids to Varsity athletics when they are in 9th and 10th grade. It is considered an honor to be asked to play up, but it might also have a downside for youth. What is wrong with letting them enjoy more playing time, gain confidence, and feel slightly less pressure while they are younger in high school?
* The pressure to do summer school. Summer is a sacred time for youth- what is better about being young if not for summer vacation?! The downtime is SO necessary for them—to rest, to have fun, to get a part-time job, to run around with their friends, to come down from the rigors of the school year. Important developmental work is done for kids in the summer—do not be mistaken about this! Summer school used to be for kids who flunked classes and needed to retake something so that they could graduate from high school. Not anymore—now bright kids in need of no remediation are going to school year-round to level up and demonstrate more rigor.
I feel exhausted for them ❤️. I’m not judging—I am parenting teens right alongside you…and feel tremendous pressure in these ways as well. However, we do need to keep our children in mind and protect them—sometimes from themselves, our communities, and the culture that we all belong to in this parenting moment. I am giving you permission to say no, opt out, level down to preserve sanity and enjoy your children more.
Ask Yourself:
Did I feel like my life was a grind as a teenager? Why or why not?
How many hours realistically does my child spend on extracurriculars each week? Is it sustainable?
What are the downsides to rushing them towards more rigor, pressure, and responsibility at an early age?
How can I be less fearful? How can I help them to be less fearful?
How can I prioritize rest, downtime, and joy in our family?
Any small shifts that I’d like to make?
Be well ⭐