February 2020

Hello all,

I hope this newsletter finds you in a good space. Enjoy these ideas/articles for this month ❤️.

I am thinking about love this month, especially with Valentine’s approaching—how we feel when we have abundant love in our lives and how lonely we can feel without it.

Contemplating all the kinds of love—romantic love, love for one’s children, and the love of friendship. All SO important in our lives—what if we set an intention to connect more with others and work on our relationships so that we felt more cherished every day?

NOTEWORTHY ARTICLES

Are you or your child a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)? Over recent years, the work of Dr. Elaine Aron has become more well-known and the concepts are helpful in my work and parenting. The concept of HSP is especially relevant when identifying overwhelm in ourselves or in our children.

Sometimes understanding this idea can make a meaningful shift in how we/or our loved ones feel and experience the world. Dr. Aron has a book and many online resources available if you are interested.
 
Is this you?

  • Are you easily overwhelmed by such things as bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens nearby?

  • Do you get rattled when you have a lot to do in a short amount of time?

  • Do you make a point of avoiding violent movies and TV shows?

  • Do you need to withdraw during busy days, into bed or a darkened room or some other place where you can have privacy and relief from the situation?

  • Do you make it a high priority to arrange your life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations?

  • Do you notice or enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, or works of art?

  • Do you have a rich and complex inner life?

  • When you were a child, did your parents or teachers see you as sensitive or shy?

If this piques your interest, take the ONLINE QUIZ to learn more.

INSPIRATION

"How do you spell 'love'?" – Piglet
"You don't spell it. You feel it." – Pooh (A.A. Milne)

POETRY

“Little Dog’s Rhapsody in the Night” by Mary Oliver from Dog Songs
 
He puts his cheek against mine
and makes small, expressive sounds.

And when I’m awake, or awake enough
he turns upside down, his four paws
in the air and his eyes dark and fervent.

“Tell me you love me,” he says.
“Tell me again.”
Could there be a sweeter arrangement? Over and over he gets to ask.
I get to tell.

The unconditional love that we feel from our pets is not to be dismissed! Lifesaving for some. Mutually beneficial. Oxytocin abounds when we look into the eyes of our pets! Often, my dogs are just what I need...Here is a pic of my beloved dogs, Daphne and Gracie.

BEST PARENTING BOOKS

The Five Love Languages of Teens by Gary Chapman
 
From the Back Cover:
Struggling to connect with your teen?
Never before has raising teens been so perplexing. If you are wondering what on earth you’re doing wrong, you’re not alone. But there is hope. By learning to meaningfully express love amid your teen’s many changes, you can stay connected, maintain influence, and help them grow into a healthy adult.
Dr. Gary Chapman will help you:

  • Understand today’s teenagers

  • Identify your teen’s primary love language

  • Discover how to best express love to your teen

  • Address your teen’s need for independence and responsibility

  • Respond with love and wisdom when your teen fails

Raising teens is tough, but with Dr. Chapman’s expert advice and practical examples, you can do it—and do it well.

Fun Fact: I will be leading my High School Girls’ Group through a discussion this week to figure out what love language speaks to them… We’ll discuss how this information can positively impact their family relationships, friendships, and dating relationships.

TED TALK

I’m always working on Radical Self-Love with teenagers (and women for that matter!). I truly enjoyed Gala Darling’s 2012 TED Talk “Radical Self Love". She talks about her own journey as a struggling teenager, with an eating disorder and self-injury…to a woman that accepts herself and spreads a hopeful message of self-love. At the end of the day, our most important relationship is with ourselves—it is time well spent to get to know ourselves and develop love and gratitude for ourselves.

PARENTING TIP

With adolescents, begin moving yourself from a “manager” role to a “consultant” role. With young children, we tend to organize and manage their lives, activities, and experiences. With adolescents, we must relinquish the reins a bit and trust that our children can begin making more and more of their own decisions (while trusting that we’ve instilled the values to help them navigate the world).

We have to earn the right to be a “consultant” for them, which is largely based on respect for their growing independence, trying to take an open and flexible stance, being a good listener, seeing them for who they truly are, and not expecting perfection. This is hard but possible!!
 
Consider a Family Valentine’s Night—cooking a favorite meal and small gestures to let your loved ones know that you are thinking of them. A thoughtful, hand-written card is intimate and appreciated.

PRACTICE UPDATES

All is well in Suite 206. Rebecca Ruben has launched (sigh!) and Meaghan and Stacy are thriving.

Meaghan has two openings in the Middle School Group; I have one opening in the Wed High School Girls’ group, and Stacy has two openings in Thursday High School Girls’ Group.

We know our practice is known for lending lots of support to adolescents and their families—we do love that work! Stacy and Leah also like to work with young adults, women, and mothers. Thank you for keeping us in mind.

I am giving a talk on Thursday, February 27th on Parenting Adolescents: How to Connect with Them While Setting Boundaries, Manhattan Beach Community Church, 7 pm. Open to the community.

I hope to connect with you soon!
Leah

Newsletter, FebruaryLeah NiehausComment