Distress Tolerance
🌟Weekly Inspiration🌟
Being able to tolerate upsetting emotions and frustrations is key to mood regulation and mental health. Life is full of opportunities to be annoyed, frustrated, disappointed, angry, sad, and traumatized. It is part of effective coping and maturity to be able to weather these storms and carry on. As a therapist, I am working to help people improve their level of distress tolerance on a daily basis (adults and kids)! As parents, situations present themselves regularly where we can model our own tolerance for distress in front of our kids…and we can help them learn how to face these challenges and build resilience ❤️.
Nowadays, parents often swoop in and try to “fix” or make distress more palatable for their child.
Parents often complain to coaches to get more play time or make certain teams.
Parents get a tutor immediately if a child struggles instead of letting them work through frustration.
Parents orchestrate to get their child into the classroom of the easier teacher.
Parents often text the parent of the bully instead of letting the kid try to assert themselves at school.
Parents bring forgotten lunches and instruments to school.
You get the point 😉. Distress is uncomfortable—and it is hard to watch our children squirm, cry, or be upset…however, it is a necessary skill for them to practice sitting with hard emotions and noticing that they eventually pass. Welcome these opportunities parents—we don’t want to deprive them of some mastery over their own emotional regulation!
Ask Yourself:
How do I tolerate distress? What are my healthy ways of coping? What areas could use improvement?
What do I model for my children in this regard?
What are my own stories of resilience? Have I shared some of my stories with my children?
What would it feel like to sit next to my child while they struggle and not make it easier for them?
What lessons could my child learn if I allowed them to persevere in the face of struggle?
What is my big fear about them having distress?
Did an adult acknowledge my distress growing up? How did I feel about the adult response in my life?