If You Raise a Child to Have a Voice, Be Prepared for Them to Use It
🌟Weekly Inspiration🌟
Some children are raised to have a voice, take up space, have an opinion, and challenge parents respectfully—and some are not. I encourage you to think about whether you were raised to speak up and use your voice…and whether your children are permitted to as well. Often, this is not communicated out loud—it is subtly expressed in our family dynamics. Some children learn early that it is more important to please their parents and conform to expectations—so it is harder for them to hear their own thoughts and feelings. Others are empowered to think, challenge, dissent, and encouraged to stay true to themselves over others.
If you have done the latter, and raised your kids to be attuned to their own thoughts/feelings and speak up—be prepared for them to use their voice…and to often dissent with you during their adolescence. We’ve raised our children in this manner—and honestly, some days I am exhausted by their challenges and secretly wish they would be pleasers! They raise good points, dissent, speak loudly and forcefully at times, and can be demanding in their requests for freedom and independence. They wear us out and wear us down at times ❤️. We have to remind ourselves that we did this to ourselves—we created an environment for them to get clear on who they are and what they want—and that it will be worth it in the end when they feel true to themselves in their careers and relationships.
Ask Yourself:
Was I raised to speak up? Was I raised to prioritize pleasing? Why?
When did I find my voice and start using it?
How have I raised my children in this regard?
What are the pros/cons of raising a child who is clear on their voice and uses it?
Any shifts that I’d like to make?
How can I manage my own reactions to their voice?
Do I want them to please me over pleasing themselves?
What are the long-term effects for a person if they have always prioritized others over themselves?