They Are Probably Ordinary
🌟Weekly Inspiration🌟
Is it possible for our children to be amazing in so many ways and also be ordinary? How can we send them the message that we think they are special and talented and also an ordinary human being like everyone else? How can we raise them to see their strengths and weaknesses clearly? How can we instill humility in our children (which is a highly undervalued trait in my opinion)? Does it actually serve our children to think they are more special/better than others or that life is a race to stand out the most in the crowd? What is wrong with being in the crowd—and living a life filled with solid relationships, meaning, and purpose?
Breathe. I find this is a hard message for parents. Children sometimes feel like an extension of us (but they are actually their own person)—we are invested in their shining because we think that makes them happy and we like to be part of the glow and credit for their shining. It is fun and awesome to watch a child in their flow and standing out…I’m all for that. However, I find that there is also too much parental praise, recognition for simple tasks that should be expected, and an over-emphasis on achievement and performance.
For a child that is thriving and excelling in something, that should be reward enough. If one wants to foster intrinsic motivation, let them drive their passions and let their joy and success be the reward—not your praise and bragging. It does not prepare your child well for the real world if they believe they are somehow better than everyone else.
There are outliers, but the majority of us and our children are ORDINARY.
Ordinary in the most extraordinary way.
There is freedom in acknowledging that for ourselves and our children. All will feel less pressure if you can settle down and let them be. You can have a wonderful ordinary existence—life’s simple pleasures and connections are truly what makes most of us tick anyway ❤️.
Ask yourself:
What was my experience with praise growing up?
Do you overcompensate with praise and acknowledgment because you didn’t receive much growing up?
What would it feel like to raise your children with humility? Do you have a fear around being humble or not being as vocal about your children’s successes?
Do you forgo having your children do chores because they are too busy excelling? What is prioritized in your home? Could you make a slight shift so that they are better prepared for life?
Think about the adults who have touched your life in a profound way—were they ordinary folks? What qualities do they have that are most meaningful to you?
What beauty is there in ordinary?