How We Model Adulthood
🌟Weekly Inspiration🌟
I did an expressive art therapy exercise with many adolescents and young adults in my office this past week. The results and discussions that ensued were extremely interesting! The prompt was to draw a bridge between where you’ve been and where you are going. Many varied responses—some with idealized childhoods with sunshine and rainbows, some with bright futures, some with brooding futures, some with balanced pasts/futures with words on both sides like “challenges, fun, sadness, happiness.” A couple of off-the-cuff takeaways:
Childhood is more challenging than people imagine—with lots of big emotions, grief, and transitions
Many youth fear adulthood
I was struck by the conversations around how adults make adulthood look unpleasant—like it’s a grind, with no joy, and that responsibility is overwhelming. Youth talked about parents seeming stressed and irritable, not having fun or socializing, and workaholism. Why would these kids want to grow up and become more independent? Sometimes for kids that are struggling to launch, these fears may be bubbling under the surface. I asked the youth whether they believed their parents enjoyed their lives. Did their parents have lives with challenge and overwhelm at times (as is normal for middle age), but also have a degree of contentment, meaning, purpose, and solid relationships that help them? I did note that the youth whose parents seemed more content, had less ominous images for their future.
Ask Yourself:
How was adulthood modeled for me by the adults in my life? Did it look appealing?
Was I ambivalent or scared about growing up?
What do I model for my own children about what adulthood looks like?
Do I provide a balanced view—challenges and joy? Do I articulate this? Could I?
Do I enjoy my life? How could I enjoy it more?
If I am struggling in this arena, is there another adult that is important in the life of my child, that could help model a more balanced view of adulthood for my child while I continue to work on my issues?
Any small shifts that I would like to make?
Be well ⭐