Use Caution Being an “Almond Mom”
🌟Weekly Inspiration🌟
Lately, I’ve had many adolescents and young adults talking about the way their parents try to teach them about healthy eating, manage their food intake, and comment on their developing bodies. In addition, lots of teens talk about how their mothers are critical of their adolescent bodies and shaming of their own figures (usually this is mothers and not fathers). Some observations from teens:
*parents are hypocritical—they correct my choices at times, yet indulge in the same snack or treat that I want
*the concept of an “almond mom” is trending on Tik Tok, which makes fun of the mothers who always give their kids almonds as a snack! The teens told me they don’t appreciate when their moms are “almond moms” 😂
*parents comment on a food choice, by saying maybe they’d improve at their sport if they didn’t pick that snack
*mothers “fat shame” themselves, speaking negatively about their own bodies in front of their daughters (sometimes the mother is overweight and sometimes thin mothers also critique themselves)
*some families overemphasize health/exercise and it feels like too much
*too much focus on outer appearance, when the kid recognizes they are a whole person with lots of qualities
*an observation of fathers being hard on mothers at home in terms of physical appearance
*teens feel that they’ve learned nutrition at school, and observed at home—and know enough about nutrition and want to make their own choices with less commentary from adults
*older teens laughed and contemplated the controlling behavior of their parents around food still, which is interesting given that they are flying the nest soon and will be making their own food decisions
Kids feel really strongly about this issue…By the time you have a teenager, you’ve exposed them to knowledge and modeling for years…they should really have more autonomy in their food choices. Stock the house with healthy options, make nutritious meals, and relinquish control. Please don’t comment about your body in front of your kids—there is really no reason to do so and it really hurts them that you think poorly of the way you look (many kids look like their parents or have a similar figure). They love you and think you are beautiful, they want you to love yourself ❤️. Kids also want you to love their appearance and bodies—they want to please you and you created them! You should reflect love when you look at them. Sidenote: a kid that feels unconditionally loved makes better food choices and feels better about themselves overall.
Ask Yourself:
Am I an “almond mom/parent”?
Have I done a decent job at educating and modeling a healthy lifestyle for my kids (in terms of sleep, nutrition, exercise, and mental well-being)? If so, can I give myself permission to back off?
Do I overemphasize appearance? Health? Could I be contributing to my child’s poor body image?
Do I criticize them? Do I criticize myself in front of them? Did someone criticize me?
Do my kids feel unconditionally loved? Any small shifts that I can make?
**Final Thought—have you heard of Orthorexia Nervosa? It is a proposed disorder that characterizes an obsession with healthy eating with associated restrictive behaviors. The attempt to attain optimum health through attention to diet may lead to malnourishment, loss of relationships, and poor quality of life. Ask yourself: is my self-esteem based on eating healthy foods, am I increasingly critical and rigid about eating, feel like certain foods are dangerous, or feel guilt/shame when unable to maintain diet standards?
Be well.