The Difference Between Grinding and A Grind
🌟Weekly Inspiration🌟
I’ve been thinking about the benefits for youth in developing grit, stamina, and resilience. These are wonderful qualities that will help our children thrive into adulthood—all can be learned and increased over time. These traits are sometimes built by “grinding”—pushing through with challenges, working hard, and committing to follow through on tasks. I want to highlight a difference between “grinding” (which is short, time-limited, and for a specific purpose) versus life being “a grind". I see all too many young people in my office feeling like their life is a grind. Life feeling like a grind for a 14-year-old, a 17-year-old, or a 20-year-old? Wowza. Should any of our lives feel like a grind?
Many families are confused about this concept—they are all for pushing through…and seem to have expectations that their children should be grinding constantly…on academics, on sports, on extracurriculars. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE, NOR SHOULD IT BE EXPECTED OF THEM.
Then life feels like a grind…which leads to depression, anxiety, perfectionism, eating disorders, OCD, anhedonia, self-destructive behaviors, numbing, and at its most extreme--suicidal ideation—because these kids feel trapped and want a way out of the grind of this kind of existence.
Ask Yourself:
Were you a grinder? Why? Intrinsically motivated to grind or extrinsically motivated to grind?
Was your grinding time limited and then you got some relief? Did you feel proud of yourself for finishing something hard?
Did your parents weigh in about your grinding or pressure you?
Did your life feel like a grind growing up? Does it now? Should it?
Any shifts you can make for yourself?
How is grinding encouraged or not encouraged in your home now?
Do your children feel like their life is a grind?
What would it be like for them to admit it to you? Would you accept it or would you be defensive?
What is your fear of having them be less productive?
More joyful? More bored?
More socially connected and less committed? Acting less like a little adult?